“We celebrated two years this past April, and I’m not gonna lie, marriage is hard work. It really is. Especially when you have two people like ourselves, who spent most of our lives single and not sure we were ever going to be married, or let alone interested in it. But as with anything that is hard work, the benefits are SO rewarding!”
My Love Story:
I met Ramon when I was 36 years old. Even though I had given up on love, finally, I realized what it meant to love someone enough to make the commitment to be with them for the rest of your life. We moved in together only months after meeting, but only years later did we decide to marry. I didn’t think things would be different – by then, we had been living together for years, we knew each other’s quirks and comedies, and after all, it was only a legal thing, right? NO WAY.
Getting married is an unbelievable thing. I felt something when I woke up the next morning after our wedding, that is hard to put into words. It was a very strong bond, very surreal, but it felt good. It was an unspoken, unwritten energy that I had a partner forever, he was mine and I was his, and I did not feel that bond before we got married. Always, I had felt that he was my partner and we were going to be together no matter what, but once we were married it was, for lack of a better way to put it, different. It was stronger, thicker, lovelier. It’s so hard to describe.
Why Marriage Equality Matters
It was at that moment, in April of 2010, that I realized that EVERYONE should have the right to feel this way, to experience this indescribable bond with another person, the person that they love. They should have the right to make that commitment in front of their loved ones and shout out to the world:
“I love this person so much that I am committing to be with them for the rest of my entire life!”
Perhaps you can do that without marriage, without a wedding. But that should be a choice, too. EVERY PERSON on earth needs to be able to make that choice for themselves, and not have it made FOR them. And just as an aside, my husband is black. I know there was a time where interracial marriage was forbidden and illegal. I can’t imagine being told by ANYONE that I could not marry my now husband. It chokes me up to think about it, and makes me even more passionate about supporting marriage equality.
Ingrid is a Chicago-based visual storyteller for remarkable people – she is a photographer – she poses with her husband of two years, Ramon.